15:01
my last fortune cookie said: "an action that required all your forces will pay." i took it as kind of a sign, and there is no way back now. ana will definitely pay off!
we have so many reasons to be skinny:
- we will be the envy of every girl.
- we will be ever so light and able to move effortlessly and gracefully.
- we will look like models, clothes will fit us better and our cheekbones will pop out.
- we will be walking proof of our control and our power of will.
- we will command the attention of every room we enter.
- we will individually be referred to as 'the skinny one'.
- we will be beautiful.
today i ate/drank a bowl of müsli, coffee, water and fruit. the skinny-mantras are helping already. tonight i'm going to visit her. and she won't be able to make me eat, i swear! ana is my secret weapon. i told my parents i'm eating at her place and i'll just tell her i'm eating at home.
i'm a genius. people are so easy.
Showing posts with label mantra.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mantra.. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
ballerina or bean bag?
09:19
today i plan on eating (the stuff i already ate/drank is italic):
breakfast:
- 6 dices of apple on top of small amount of müsli porridge (but didn't finish)
- hot water & lemon
- a glass of water
mid-morning/lunch:
- 'active greens' raw organic food bar
- some grapes
- a few nuts/almonds
- 4 little carrots
- detox tea
- water
dinner (am going to helene from my class for her birthday dinner tonight. i hope it isn't pizza):
- hardly nothing of what's being served. i plan on eating mostly veggies.
i had insane tummy ache yesterday night. and it was still there this morning. i ate only a small amount of healthy food, i really had no appetite. it's about two hours since i ate breakfast and the pain have subsided a bit. i'm freaking out. i don't want to be sick. yesterday in dance class was fun, though. i saw a very skinny-looking girl who is my real life thinspo now. and there were a couple of fatties on the dance team.
i just felt strangely in the middle.
i just have to ask myself if i wanna look like a ballerina or a beanbag:
which would you rather be?
today i plan on eating (the stuff i already ate/drank is italic):
breakfast:
- 6 dices of apple on top of small amount of müsli porridge (but didn't finish)
- hot water & lemon
- a glass of water
mid-morning/lunch:
- 'active greens' raw organic food bar
- some grapes
- a few nuts/almonds
- 4 little carrots
- detox tea
- water
dinner (am going to helene from my class for her birthday dinner tonight. i hope it isn't pizza):
- hardly nothing of what's being served. i plan on eating mostly veggies.
i had insane tummy ache yesterday night. and it was still there this morning. i ate only a small amount of healthy food, i really had no appetite. it's about two hours since i ate breakfast and the pain have subsided a bit. i'm freaking out. i don't want to be sick. yesterday in dance class was fun, though. i saw a very skinny-looking girl who is my real life thinspo now. and there were a couple of fatties on the dance team.
i just felt strangely in the middle.
i just have to ask myself if i wanna look like a ballerina or a beanbag:
which would you rather be?
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