chubby.

if you're chubby and you hate it, clap your hands.
clap.
clap.

11:20
i just returned from berlin last night. it was fantastic. except that i put on weight. i don't know how much it actually is, but i feel huge. i love berlin, but they have too many unhealthy options when it comes to grabbing a quick bite; döner, currywurst (a thick, greasy sausage in ketchup-sauce w. a sprinkling of curry.. ewww), huge pretzels w. salt. plus, i went over there with my parents and it was very hard to hide it, so i let go: i ate what/when they ate. and nemesis was severe stomach pain, feeling bloated, greasy and very ugly. i beat my self up about it on the way home and i plan to start a detox diet soon. luckily, berlin have whole supermarkets with just organic and biodynamic foods, so i stacked up on tea, fruit, celery sticks, apple chips and stuff. mm.

i went running at 10:00 (excellent start!) this morning, took a cold shower afterwards, rubbed my self w. birch oil and then got dressed and prepared this breakfast:
- 1 egg fried in 1 tbs coconut oil (said to be good for metabolism)
- 1 big carrot cut in smaller sticks
- 1 orange cut into little pieces
- 1 thin slice of wholegrain bread (lightly toasted on the same pan as the egg in leftover oil) cut in two, w. a small amount of peanut butter on one piece, and fig spread on the other.
- grape juice diluted w. water

i spent about 45 minutes eating it, chewing carefully, dreaming about a skinnier self.
i simply won't allow myself to fuck this up.


today's thinspo is sasha grey:










she's not totally skinny, but has a nice figure.