- water, water, water
- green tea w. fresh mint herb
- slightly larger portion of faux chocolate mousse (am going to work out like there's no tomorrow)
today i'm supposed to be studying for my exam tomorrow, but i can't really sit still and focus on it. i have to walk around all the time or i'll get freaked out by gaining weight. the cleaning up my life is going well. yesterday i went to buy a lot of plants for my room. it always makes me happier when there's something green to look at. i wanted to get an orchid, but they were too friggin expensive, so i ended op buying lots of other stuff: a ginseng fig, an air cleaner, a coffee plant (yes!), ivy and a white rose with a raspberry-ish scent. mm.
has anyone had any experience with those skinny bitch books and workout dvds? i'm thinking of getting them for myself, i think the tough love attitude would work. none of that love-your-flabby-body-as-it-is-crap. i really need to get off my butt.
therefore, as mentioned in another post, i'm working on transfering a lot of thinspo-to-go (songs, pictures, videos) to my ipod and would be pleased if you'd share some of the thinspo that really works for you. i'd be so pleased and i can't really ask my bf to help me out, since he'll discover everything.
speaking of thinspo, there's an open casting for potential model wannabes in my town in two days. i don't feel very modelicious, but i would like to be. it could maybe be a good way of pushing myself if i decided to go. they'll probably tell me i'm too fat. maybe they would make me wanna give up on ana, make me go home and decide i'm too fat and always will be? or maybe i could build up will power enough in these two days to decide that this simply wouldn't happen. that i would be the skinniest bitch there. and i could always say no if they'd actually accept me, which might be a real thinspo and confidence boost.
hmm. open model casting in two days
- good idea or big mistake?
i'd sure like to actually be this in stead of just dreaming about it,
admiring it from a great distance: