Saturday, May 16, 2009

trapped.

10:36

okay,
so i passed out two days ago at the gym and the gym people fed me juice and called for my mom to come pick me up. she kept asking if i ate enough and what i ate before i went down there, and at the same time she kept saying "it COULD be that you are just eating way to little, but i don't know". she kept accusing me and then kinda taking it back like she didn't want me to think was she was thinking: "you're having an eating disorder, aren't you?".
i was still kind of paralyzed and just answered in i-don't-know-grunts. i told her it might be exam stress. i thought she was buying it, but at home she made me eat a thick slice of bread with an enormous layer of butter and a bit of salt on it while she watched me. eww...

later in the evening when i felt better my sister came home to visit us. i was still on the couch, drinking loads of water and flipping through magazines, not trying to walk around too much. my mom apparently told her what happened, because she totally jumped on me and said that i should eat! she's always on me for eating too little.
i think she's a bit jealous to be honest. she has an enormous appetite and then she feels guilty when she compared what the two of us eats.

big surprise: i didn't make the model audition
thing and now i'm being watched wherever i go.
crap, crap, crap. i need help.






1 comment:

  1. Perhaps you should try to eat something light before you go to the gym. You'll work harder to burn it off, and it'll definitely be good for your metabolism. . . Besides, if you pass out again, things will only get worse. Anyways, whatever you do, best of luck :\

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