Monday, January 12, 2009

orthorexia nervosa.


am doing good so far, but dreading tonight's dinner at my bf's place (they have a thing for potatoes, gravy, candy & such, since his w
hole family never ever puts on weight and can eat whatever they want):

- water

- half a cup of müsli mixed to porridge w. boiling water
- 1 celery stick
- half a carrot
- some grapes
- half a banana

- 1 plum
- 1 small bag of apple chips (my new love: sweet and tasty w. absolutely no fat! it's just plain dried fuji apples)
- 1 egg
- a few cups of coffee

any ideas on how to avoid eating at dinner tonight? :/

i have started eating a little more (but mostly veggies) because almost passed out at the gym last saturday. it was during my boxing class. i hadn't eaten as much breakfast as i should and before the class i ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. me and my boxing partner were practicing jabs and uppercuts, laughing and having a good time and suddenly i felt weak and dizzy, i couldn't focus my eyes and at one point i couldn't see anything. so i stopped. i sat down, drank water and breathed in very deep. the fitness instructor gave me a banana and ordered me to eat it immediately. and i did. afterwards i got dressed and bought a sugarfree berry-protein smoothie at juicestop. that was nice. i don't think boxing is for me.

i recently found out that i apparently 'suffer from orthorexia' besides my ana-tendencies. i don't think i'm suffering, i just think a lot about what i eat in general. i also try to buy organic stuff. i'm not sure if it's a real diagnose like other eating disorders, but i don't feel like it's a disease for me, in my case it's more of a lifestyle.
i do obsess. about eating healthy and small amounts. but i obsess about a lot of things.

thinspo of the day? pj harvey:

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